After the children: What having kids has meant for our relationship!

Tuesday, 15 March 2016

You may have seen this post featured in Mum in Brum's #UsAfterYou series where she asks fellow bloggers to reveal what having kids has meant for their relationship.

But for those of you that haven't, here it is!



Being in a relationship is still relatively new to me! Yes, we’ve been married for nearly three years, but until Mark and I met, I’d been a single mum since Mikey was born.



Mikey aged 3!

When Mark and I first met each other at the local football, Mikey, was 7. I thought that having a child would bother him, but far from it. He knew that we were a package deal.
Mikey and Mark got on so well. The three of us used to spend the weekends together at the park, going bowling or just chilling watching a film. It was brilliant!
When Mark and I got time to ourselves, it was doing normal couple-y things  in the evenings when Mikey was in bed, like going out for tea or to the cinema or simple things like curling up on the sofa and falling asleep. 
It was only when we got married in 2013  that we were able to spend more time together when we moved in with Mark. It was a bit weird for both Mikey and myself as we had always lived with my parents. It took a bit of getting used to, but we love our own house! 




We found out we were expecting Dot just before our first wedding anniversary.  We were thrilled, but our relationship dynamic changed almost immediately. Not in a bad way, but I suffered with severe morning sickness throughout my pregnancy and even had to have a spell in hospital for dehydration.
Even after having Dot, I was recovering from surgery, so it meant that for about a year, I had to rely on Mark for a lot of duties that I would I normally do.  Whenever I ask him about it, he always says that he worried a lot and it felt like I was ill for a lot longer than a year! 
Our dynamic has changed again, as I am now lucky enough to be a stay at home mum. We both love it not only because it’s great for the kids, but also because both our mums stayed at home when we were younger.



Having children does change your relationship. Yes, the pair of you are always tired,  you have less time  together just the two of you and you can’t drop things and go out on whim.
But there are also great points. You cherish the time you do spend together and find more inventive ways to spend your time, like a lovely romantic evening in when the kids are asleep rather than a meal out and the cinema.  
 Having children with someone also makes you look at your partner differently. I love what a great dad Mark is. He always thought that he’d missed out on having kids and now he has two, so he’s making every moment count.
Most of all though, I love that this time,  I get to share it all with someone else.

Keep Calm and Carry On Linking Sunday

23 comments:

  1. I love your cake toppers, that you guys included your son! So sweet :) Before T was born, my husband and I used to travel a lot, but ever since T started school, all trips have to wait till the school breaks which can be expensive. But life is good as you mentioned :) x Dean of Little Steps

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    1. Thank you! They're brilliant, aren't they! :)
      Life is great ;) xx

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  2. Having children definitely does change the dynamics of a relationship, but as they grow older it changes and matures. It's all good. :)

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  3. I think that's the best thing about relationship with life after children - watching your partner be a Dad. It's the most amazing thing! Lovely post :)

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    1. It really is amazing! :)
      Thank you lovely xx

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  4. Your hubby sounds like a wonderful man and dad and its rare these days to find a man like him. Lovely pictures

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    1. I still can't believe how lucky I am!
      Thank you :)
      Xx

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  5. It's great that you've got a brilliant family unit, and sounds like having the children has been a really positive thing. Ours bizarrely has had the OH (who was originally the one who wanted children) never doing anything with us where I expected he'd do more than he used it before.

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  6. Your husband sound like a great man, great that he loved you as a package and took your son under his wing. I love the last point you make, about sharing it all together.

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    1. He really is :) I love the relationship that my son and he have together too. :)
      It's so great to be able to share the experiences with someone!
      Xx

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  7. I hope you are feeling better now hunny?! What a wonderful man and it is so wonderful that you have found the love of your life.

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  8. aww this is lovely, To be honest I cant' remember being a couple before kids it just feels like it's the way it's always been haha x

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  9. It takes a real man to step up. Lovely that he loves your son and just accepted him straight away as part of you!

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  10. This is so sweet :) He's obviously a very lucky man ;)

    Stevie xx

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    1. :)
      Aw, bless you lovely. I'm the lucky one!
      Xx

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  11. I was a single parent for a long time too, and then I met my partner and we have two kids together. Our relationship has changed a lot but I agree it's all for the better and having someone to share lifes joys with is amazing

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  12. Things have to change with children but if all goes well it changes for the better looks like it was worked out that way for you and given you some great family time. #KCACOLS

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  13. I read this on Mum in Brum and it is such a great post. You are such a lovely family :-) #KCACOLS

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  14. Gorgeous pictures and a really lovely read! #KCACOLS

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  15. I've took part in this feature, it goes like on Friday. Your story is lovely and so is your family. I come from a family of step parents, half siblings etc and I love it. The more the merrier for me! Mikey and Dot look very cute together. #KCACOLS

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  16. Such a happy post to read! I love your wedding cake toppers! Having children certainly does change relationships although my two are now 5 years old and 10 years old so i can't really remember much before they came along! Thanks so much for linking up at #KCACOLS. Hope you come back again next Sunday

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  17. This is a great read which I can really relate to. Having kids is super hard, but I wouldn't have it any other way. And definitely, one of the best parts is watching my hubby be a dad- such a turn on! Lol.
    #KCACOLS
    Tori
    www.themamanurse.com

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  18. This is really lovely :) I left my fathers dad before she was two and moved back 'home' where I met my boyfriend. He was a little younger than I was and I was really shocked that me having a daughter didn't completely put him off! They didn't meet for quite some time but when they did we had nice dinners together, went to the zoo, the park...all sorts, it was great. Now it's three years on and we're all living together, he takes on just as much of the parenting responsibilities a dad would and he's there for school plays, parents evening and to take her to school sometimes. I love that. I know when we have children he'll be a great dad. :)

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